Why coworkers are mean

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. AWS Deloitte Genpact. Events Innovation Festival. Follow us:. By Shannon G. Taylor—The Conversation 3 minute Read.

The rise of rudeness? Just how rampant is workplace rudeness? Design Co. Design Forget wind turbines. Start harnessing the tides for energy Co. Design Why fashion brands are collaborating with dead midcentury architects Co. Porath suggests you ask yourself these questions before you do:. One point to consider: Would it help to include other people as witnesses or mediators e.

If so, invite them. And you may find it useful to rehearse your phrasing, ideas and approach first, even role-play the conversation.

Your goal is for the two of you to identify and agree on norms for the future so you can work together as effectively as possible. As you speak, stay focused on understanding their perspective. Does your rude colleague feel they are being mistreated or disrespected? How conscious are they of their behavior and its impact? Be mindful of keeping your words and nonverbal communication neutral, and try to listen as much as you talk. Any information you gather can help you two move forward.

In the survey conducted by Porath and Pearson, they found that less than half of respondents reported incivility to anyone, often out of fear or a sense of hopelessness. If rudeness is the rule in your workplace and not the exception, leaving may be your best option.

Talk them over with someone you trust. When you do, you can make it your lifelong mission to foster a culture of true civility wherever you work. If you can ignore their rudeness and continue to work despite their aggression, try to do so.

A toxic coworker can leave you feeling down for hours or even days after they do something mean. To prevent that, imagine a wall between you and the person, the psychologist suggests. If a bad apple at work is unkind to you, chances are they're mean to others, too. Realizing this will help you avoid blaming yourself for his or her actions, Sutton says.

In addition, try to surround yourself with friendlier people at the office and avoid being physically near the toxic coworker. In this sense, you create a mental game for yourself, where you observe a toxic coworker's behavior like an explorer would observe an animal in the wild. This can help you tune them out. While you shouldn't just get up and quit your job, you can remind yourself that you have options for getting out of the bad situation.

Consider trying to move departments within your company or start applying to other jobs. Tell yourself, "it will all seem like no big deal when I look back at it later," Sutton writes.